Changed the template for this freaking effing blog. We shall see if that makes it any more attractive to come home to.
My thought has been to explore the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life -- and that is to lose my wife - the love of my life - to cancer just over two months ago.
It has occurred to me that no one is writing handbooks for us queer folk on how to manage this thing. I mean, fer crissakes, we aren't even sure how to do weddings, let alone funerals and every single bone crushing day afterwards.
Here in California, last summer was an amazing flurry of lovelovelove with wedding after wedding after wedding after wedding. It was glorious. By the end of it in November (thank you electorate), just as we were figuring out the timing on sending invitations with the "M_____ sends regrets/will attend ..." tiny little insert card in them we got kicked in the collective rear. Turns out we don't need that kind of information anymore. At least, not for the next little while.
And in the meanwhile, my beloved wife died as I lay draped on her chest listening to the last breaths she would ever take on this earth.
So, what do you think of the template? Too moody?
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